Viewing entries tagged
parenthood

The Spring and Its Newness

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The Spring and Its Newness

In welcoming spring, I welcome a new perspective. A new way of doing things. A new way of living. A new way of nurturing the lives I've created. I am also dutifully preparing myself, mind and body, for the births that I will be attending and the families I will be serving postpartum in the coming months. 

One of the ways I am going about doing all of the above is reading book after book after book, and almost completely ditching social media. In so doing I have found that I am learning more about birth and motherhood through reading books about nature, community and mindfulness than I have through reading books, articles and posts solely written for the purpose of teaching us how to give birth and raise children. 

Making these changes has enhanced my knowledge of self and my knowledge of our collective purpose as fellow humans. It has been made clear to me that we don't need to binge on research nearly as much as we need to simply be present and allow our natural instincts to guide us on our personal journeys. 

One of the best ways to practice staying present is to speak to others and get to know them better. Pay close attention. Allow yourself to feel what they felt. Learn from their stories and develop relationships that nurture your need to be generous. Make phone calls. Initiate time spent in each other's company. Be thoughtful about the conversations you have and treat no moment as less important than the others. Every moment is of importance. Every moment has a past, present and future state within your mind. Every moment is worthwhile.

I encourage you to read The Red TentBraiding Sweetgrass and A New Earth. I encourage you to read them while you take a break from social media. I encourage you to read them with a glass of wine. I encourage you to read them while your children watch a movie or play in the yard. I encourage you to read them while your baby sleeps at your breast. I encourage you to read them while you wait in waiting rooms and pump at your workplace. 

I encourage you.

I urge you to listen to The Birth Hour podcast. I urge you to listen to this while you do the dishes. I urge you to listen to this while you fold the laundry. I urge you to listen to this while you drive in traffic. I urge you to listen to this while you organize the play area.

I urge you.

I urge you, and I send you love. I too feel the weight on our shoulders.

The current state of society is unfortunate for parents, especially mothers. We are expected to do as everyone else does and choose ways of caring for our children that have official names and definitions. We are always attempting to categorize the way we nurture, and we are always feeling that something is lacking - and that we are isolated in our weariness. But we are not.

Reading these books and listening to this podcast has reminded me that I am not alone. There are women within me, women that surround me, women that love me and women that guide me. There are women that struggle, women that inspire, women that succeed, women that fail and women that empower. And together as women we will save this world, just as soon as we recall where we come from, become our truest selves and reunite with nature and its incredible components. 

Read. Listen. Breathe. Smile. Be.

carpinteria spring new beginnings motherhood doula
carpinteria spring new beginnings motherhood doula
carpinteria spring new beginnings motherhood doula
carpinteria spring new beginnings motherhood doula
carpinteria spring new beginnings motherhood doula

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The Power of The Snuggle

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The Power of The Snuggle

Can we all just admit that it feels like the worst thing ever when your kids don't go to sleep right away at bedtime? When they refuse to stay in bed after the drawn out routine, the reading of a million books written for tiny people over and over again, the toothbrush battles, the jammie chasing, the whining, the setup, the water fetching and the repeated tucking in...ugh. God help us all. 

For a while there I would get super pissed off, like crazy mad. I needed that downtime to prepare for tomorrow's early wakeup call, and every minute lost caused me physical pain. Like, literal pain. I've had a chronic headache pretty consistently since January, and being able to sit and do nothing felt really good after a long day. 

Then I quit my job, the one that caused me insane amounts of stress, and I suddenly wasn't bothered nearly as much by the disruptive "bedtime crazies" as I call them. My headache eased up quite a bit, and instead of getting super angry at sweet Lorelei for not doing what I needed her to do at bedtime, I started giving in to some of her requests. 

The other night it was a snack. Tonight it was reading two more books. But both times the final move that officially kept her in bed was the simplest and coziest move of all - I snuggled her and held her hand and giggled with her about cats, and it worked! It worked so well I kind of teared up and felt very grateful for those simple moments. 

I think I've written about this before, about choosing love instead of anger. Considering all that is going on in the world right now, I'm finding it more important than ever to show my child the difference between and the benefits of choosing love over anger. Sure she gets in trouble and we get frustrated with her when she misbehaves (those are important lessons too), but when all she wants is to not be alone, why force her to be sad and alone every single time? It's completely unnecessary, and also kind of mean.

So instead, and from now on, I will show her love during the bedtime crazies. Now and forever I will show her love in the moments that mean so much to her. I am finding that they mean just as much to me, even more so than that downtime I crave so badly.

kaitlin coghill doula writer be always blooming

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